^“I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord.

For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.”

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 Then Hannah prayed and said:

“My heart rejoices in the Lord;
    in the Lord my horn is lifted high.
My mouth boasts over my enemies,
    for I delight in your deliverance.”

1 Samuel 1:27-28; 2:1

HOW, Hannah? How did you do that?

How did you rejoice and worship minutes after surrendering your recently weaned toddler to the Lord…never to have little Samuel at the breakfast table again? No more playtimes on the floor, or seeing him run with the golden hour sun highlighting his hair, hearing him giggle at the animals’ antics or snuggle with you in bed. You just left him with a priest you barely know. Joyful praise is not the response I would expect from a mother recently separated from her child indefinitely, let alone one that had been long-awaited and pleaded for. Woman, you absolutely AMAZE me.

I read this story on Jan 8, 2024, the middle of my oldest daughter’s junior year when college applications were in full swing, and wrote this in my journal:

Oh that I would launch my kids with this surrender, this awareness that their very presence on earth is a gift, not a given. Help the launch to be a joyful process, like it was for Hannah.

Cut to August 2025.

It’s happening.

The pink mini fridge, XL twin mattress pad, twinkly lights, decorative ivy, pink ottoman, light green fuzzy rug, power strips and about 12,504 other things are in a giant pile next to the stairs. It is seeming to multiply all on its own the way the stuffed animals used to proliferate when my kids were little. My firstborn and I are masters of Facebook marketplace by now. If it’s pastel pink or green, under $20, and within a 10 mile radius, it’s been purchased by us.

I have Monday’s off work. My daughter’s college has agreed to give her the keys to her dorm five days prior to the Friday freshman move-in day so we can get started and beat the heat (forecast for Friday was 105°). We caffeinated, loaded the mini-van, and then drove to the school as if it was no big deal. But you and I both know it was the biggest of deals.

The day was perfect, honestly. Sometimes a memory becomes magical over time…your brain forgets the bad stuff and the glinting moments remain. But as this day was unfolding, I was thinking how precious it was. I cherished it in the moment – the two of us moving furniture and putting our carefully chosen things on the walls and under the bed and in the closet, joking around and singing and laughing as we did it. There was almost no one around – I had my girl all to myself. And I didn’t even have to say goodbye at the end, because she slept at home the rest of the week until orientation! If I could relive this day a dozen more times, I would.

Fast forward to Sunday afternoon. The “real” goodbye. All the family activities all weekend were done, it was time for me to go home without her.

Shoot. This is HARD. Hannah, seriously – HOW DID YOU DO THIS!

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For me the act of launching Corinne to college was more than just the logical next step on the path to her independence. The Lord lead me to think of it as an act of worship.

I’m still thinking about Hannah and Samuel. An offering of thanksgiving and devotion.

I’m thinking about Abraham and Isaac. A surrender at the altar of obedience.

I’m thinking of Jochebed and Moses. An outcry of trust.

I’m thinking of Mary and Jesus. The way her outpouring of love and faith included watching her son outstretched on a cross.

To state the obvious, each of these scenarios were a lot harder than driving away from a cozy, carefully curated dorm. These children were each offered back to the Lord by their parents in awareness that they were always his from the beginning.

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God let me learn from these faithful saints who have gone before me…let their zeal rise up in me when the lump in my throat gets bigger and pools form behind my eyes. You’re the same God you were back then and your hands are as capable now as they were then to receive the offering of children back to you.

A few days before my daughter’s launch I was singing the familiar song “Goodness of God” and when I came to the line in the bridge – “I give you everything” the Spirit whispered to me… “Your everything includes your daughter”.

I was like…Ahhhh, are you sure?

Ok, Lord…message received.

Worship has always been a joyous thing for me…I love to sing, I love to raise my prayers and hands and heart to God. But in launching kids, I’m thinking of worship as something that costs a lot more than just singing a song. Songs are easy, this is hard. God help me open my hands. To say along with David,

“I will not offer burnt offerings to the LORD my God which cost me nothing.” 2 Samuel 24:24